Make easier the harder moments
After a loss of a loved pet, usually it iniciates a grief process with emotional ajustments, and different feelings compete with each other.
The impact that causes the loss of an animal in some cases can be even as intense as after the loss of a loved relative.
The sadness, the need to cry, culpability feelings come out after the separation phase.
The grief usually has different phases that can be explained separately but usually they are presented overlaped and in different orders, but in the end you must have experienced all of them to complete the assimilation process of the loss.
The phases of grief
NEGATION
It is usually the first step of the grief. We refuse to accept the loss. We don't want to believe what just has happened neither assume that the loved pet will never come back.
ANGER
We are angry with ourselves or with the others. This phase usually happens after we assume that the loss has happened and will never come back.
NEGOTIATION
In this phase we start to make a pact or a deal. The situation is analized. We think about what would have happened in other circumstances, if we could have done different things, etc...
DEPRESSION
In this next step anxiety, fear, and shame arise. The feeling of culpability also show up. We are aware that the loss is irrevocable and that we must keep going without the presence of their company
ACCEPTATION
Finally the last step is acceptation were we feel prepered to accept the loss of our pet. We are concious of the situation and little by little we finally start to go back to normality. It doesn't mean that we will not think of them but we are able to keep on going accepting the fact that they will never come back.
Learning how to overcome sadness
Unfortunately, the loss of a pet is often seen as something unimportant by our home environment, friends, colleagues.
It is very important to have the opportunity to be sad and show it to our family and close friends. We don’t have to be afraid to feel pain and cry for an animal that has been with us for such a long time.
In traumatic or sudden losses a culpability feeling usually arises because it is hard to understand how this can have happened. As responsible for their well-being it is normal to have this internal feeling, but there is no point in trying to blame someone.
We have to try hard to remember the good and pleasant moments. As time goes by, these memories will gain ground and will remain forever. They will bring the calm that is produced by a peaceful memory of our beloved pet.
Finally we should keep in mind that grief is an individual experience and everyone has their own methods to accept it. Sometimes there is no formula that can help. Time is key, not to forget but to turn these memories into something pleasant and painless. Pain will fade as time goes by.
